A history of rape

My last post was many years ago. I have been through so much since then, psychologically, emotionally and physically.

My post today focuses on my rapes. I felt the need to start writing about my experiences in order to get healing in my spirit.

Rape is an scourge that has been around since time immemorial yet we still experience it. As a survivor of two incidents of rape, one as a minor and the other as an adult, the effects are felt many years later.

Last year I lost my dad, my best friend. He protected me and always defended me to the very end. He was my hero but I will tell you more about him in a post dedicated to him.

Losing him has caused me to face my inner demons and face the reality that I do not have his physical and mental protection anymore.

My rape as a minor occurred when an older female cousin abused me in my dollhouse at my childhood home. She was also raped as a child and I try and see it in this light, albeit difficult. As a child I never told my parents because I felt that it “was my fault.”

I have run away from facing the reality of this horrid experience. I have questioned my sexuality and my purpose on this earth as a woman. I was never comfortable to discuss this with anyone, until I lost my dad. I never wanted to disappoint him even though I know in my heart of hearts that he would have supported me, as he always did.

Many people wonder, why is Britney so unfriendly or introverted at times? I suffer from major depressive disorder as a result of the trauma of my rapes inter alia.

The adult rape was the most horrid experience of my life. The rumours that spread as a result thereof really and truly cut me deep. I was gang raped by a homosexual man and a heterosexual man, neither of which was consensual. My mum found out about it and was told that this “threesome” was consensual. I felt so ashamed and denied the act, never admitting the true nature thereof. This was not consensual. This was rape. A true violation of my womanhood.

I struggle many days to lift myself out of my pit of depression. I have so much to be thankful and grateful for but everyday is a work in progress. I am blessed to have my husband at my side. He supports me regardless of what I have been through in my past. He tells me that I am beautiful even though there are times when I feel ugly and dirty because of my trauma. He always encourages me to forget about the past and focus on the present and the future.

I hope that this post will help the victims of rape to talk, or write about their feelings. You are a survivor, it was never your fault. Tell yourself that everyday, no one deserves to take your dignity away.

#PowerToTheSurvivors #Rape #History

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Trap

This post is titled “The Trap” because as I browse social media such as Facebook; I constantly come across galleries with interesting tag lines such as http://mindblowingfacts.info/great-reasons-to-quit-facebook-in-2014 and http://likes.com/tech/dirty-secrets-apple-doesnt-want-you-knowing?v=eyJjbGlja19pZCI6IDI2OTE4OTYwOTQsICJwb3N0X2lkIjogMzAwODU4MDYsICJtIjogMSwgInQiOiAxMzg5NTc1OTM5LCAiaCI6IDIyMDY2NTAwfQ
This annoyingly addictive way of conveying illogical and sometimes obvious information has become a trap for me.
I am forever being lured into different sites in my quest for knowledge. I have landed me up on sites about nuclear weapons, the respective histories of all the American presidents and even relationship advice given through the interpretation of couple’s sleeping positions.
Needless to say, I have an uncanny attraction to the weird and bizarre “traps” but I can say that sometimes one finds a rose amongst the thorns… just be sure to have time and free wi-fi because “the trap” can become an addiction.

2012 winners of Varsity College Cape Town’s Annual Moot Court

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In September 2012, two of my classmates and I teamed up to compete in Varsity College’s Annual Moot Court Competition.
The competition was held at the Cape Town Magistrate’s Court, where we were given a case to argue. The team I was a part of won, as decided by Magistrate James Lekhuleni.
I was instructing attorney therefore I was mainly in charge of research and steering the case in the direction that was best suited for our “client.”
The experience influenced me in my choice to pursue the advocacy route within law as I was exposed to litigation. Although it was make believe, it was no less nerve wrecking than having a real case.

Vanilla thriller

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Olá! This is my first attempt at blogging and today I also attempted to bake a cake for the first time.
I have been told that I am a good cook- of traditional South African food- so for me to venture into baking was rather nerve wrecking as the stakes were high, excuse the pun.
Initially it was a disaster! I followed the recipe to the T but as Murphy would have it, everything that could go wrong- went wrong!
The top was burnt, as you can see below, so I had to cut off the burnt pieces.
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Thereafter I had to wait for the cake to cool so that I could put the toppings on.
My patience ran dry so I started melting the Whole Nut Chocolate and added some Full Cream Milk to make it a little runny.
Then I Googled any information on the procedure for putting toppings on cakes…
“What comes first?” BIG question!
Needless to say, thanks Murphy, there was nothing (nada) concrete to follow.
I wanted to have a caramel, melted chocolate and fresh cream topping. Eventually I put them on in the order of their “speadibility”. i.e. What is harder to spread and what I wanted more of (haha caramel in my face).
I then followed this process, spreading with a spatula, which might I add is a god send in the kitchen:
◆ caramel
◆ cream (which I whipped whilst I was waiting for the cake to cool)
◆ melted chocolate with nuts
And Voilà:
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I know the cake looks like a cow or the seats of the Spur restaurant chain lol but looks aside… it was gooooooood!
Even if I must say so myself =D
Fique bem…
Tchau and Obrigada!